An Email Conversation Between Friends

me: so the other day, Sweetheart and I had meat, stuffing, corn, and French bread for dinner. since we had so much of the French loaf left over, I made French toast for dinner last night. (the bread from the bakery at Safeway doesnt have preservatives in it, so it goes bad fast.) Sweetheart likes his French toast pretty thick, so I sliced it just how he liked. then I buttered it and put syrup on it and powdered sugar. he was all "oh this looks so good" and stuff. he took it to the living room so he could eat and watch TV. he set it down on the coffee table so he could find the remote, and Zoe snatched it and ran. ha ha. I laughed so hard. Sweetheart was angry and chasing her all around the house. it was awesome.

friend: Hahaha poor [Sweetheart]. Have you ever watched the Dog Whisperer? Zoe wouldn’t have done that if she considered [Sweetheart] the alpha male… She thinks she’s top dog.

Haha, I would’ve been dying laughing too if I had seen that. Did Zoe end up eating the whole thing?

me: no, what channel is the Dog Whisperer on? can I dog whisper Zoe myself? last week when I felt sick, Sweetheart went to buy himself some Panda Express, since I didnt feel like eating or cooking for him. he ate and put his leftovers in the container on the coffee table. then we went upstairs and I was in bed and he was getting me medicine and stuff to be comfortable. when he went back downstairs, Zoe had pulled his container onto the floor and eaten everything that was left. he said the container looked clean cause she licked it up. since he had already eaten what he was gonna eat, he wasnt mad and he didnt punish her at all. THATS why she thinks she is top dog! so, its his fault!
no, he was so mad about the French toast that he took it from her and threw it away. then he threw her outside. I laughed the whole time that I made more. I TOLD him that he should have spanked her when she ate the Panda Express, but he thought that was cute. I told him that its not a good idea for small dogs to think they can have people food, but he was all "she is sooo cute blah blah blah" so thats why I laughed at him last night.